You are invited
Most books are written to be understood.
This one was written to be felt.
Your return to presence, purpose,
and the life you were meant for.
From $75 CAD. Pay today, or at press. Full refund before printing. In your hands within 90 days.
From the preface
At some point, usually quietly,
a question begins to form.
Not loudly.
Not all at once.
It doesn’t interrupt your life.
It waits until the noise dies down
just enough to slip through.
Is this it?
Is this really what life
is supposed to feel like?
Something still feels off.
Not broken.
Not tragic.
Just distant.
You’re not unhappy, exactly.
But you’re not fully here either.
It’s a low-grade ache
you can’t quite name.
Still, something inside you
hasn’t stopped reaching out.
Not demanding.
Not dramatic.
Just steady.
A quiet signal beneath the noise.
This book won’t give you answers.
It’s not here to fix you.
It’s here to help you listen again.
Presence is precision.
It’s the difference
between reacting and responding.
Between chasing and choosing.
Between living on momentum
and living on purpose.
You haven’t lost yourself.
You’ve just been hard to hear.
Preface · Back. To you.
The first printing. 500 copies, numbered by hand.
The first reader
“I think I got to know,
and love me a little more.”
Judy, one of the first readers.
Written the evening she finished it.
Why this book exists
The author is finishing this book from a hospital bed in Oakville, Ontario.
His mother has had dementia for fifteen years.
It took her memories.
It never took her laugh.
This book pays its own bills, and not one dollar more.
Everything after that goes to dementia and Alzheimer’s research.
Receipts posted here, every year, where anyone can read them.
Try one page now
One practice from the book is open to everyone.
It holds a grievance for a day, then asks one question.
Two short guides, also open to everyone:
How to be more present · How to find your purpose
You did what you were supposed to do.
You went to school.
You learned the rules.
You adapted.
You showed up.
You built something that looks like a life.
And still, at night, something reaches out.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
Just steady.
Is this it?
You haven’t lost yourself.
You’ve just been hard to hear.
Kindly reply
The first printing is 500 copies, each numbered and registered to its reader.
Choose how you would like to take part, and whether to settle today by card or wait for the invoice at press. Change your mind any time before printing.
Nothing is charged unless you choose to settle today. Card payments are handled securely by Stripe. No spam, ever.
Every copy of the first printing is numbered.
Not printed in the thousands.
Counted, one by one.
The code on the back cover registers your copy to your name,
and opens the membership behind the book.
The practices. The depth. The receipts.
The first readers hold the lowest numbers.
That is what replying early is worth.
All fourteen practices from the book are live, and the twenty workbook sheets are free to print.
Asked, kindly
Presence and purpose, for people whose lives look fine on paper and still feel a step removed from them. Fourteen chapters, each ending in a short practice called a Way Back: small, concrete, free of jargon. It won’t give you answers. It helps you listen again.
People who are functioning. Succeeding on paper, even.
And who still hear something quiet asking for their attention.
The first reader said it best: “I think I got to know, and love me a little more.”
Yes. All fourteen Ways Back are free on this site, in the book’s own words, with no account and no email. Start with Way Back No. 1, try The Hold, or sit for ten minutes with The Sit.
It sits on that shelf, but it is not here to fix you. There are no ten-step systems and no promises. Each chapter tells a true story, then hands you one practice you can do today. The claims behind the practices are laid out honestly, including the weak ones, on the science page.
Jasen Rockliffe, Jay to everyone who knows him, lives in Oakville, Ontario. His mother has had dementia for fifteen years. It took her memories. It never took her laugh. He finished the last chapters of this book from a hospital bed, and it is dedicated to her.
It is 500 copies, each numbered by hand and registered to the name of the person who keeps it. The lowest numbers go to the earliest replies. The code on the back cover registers your copy and opens the membership behind the book.
Only if you choose to be. Pick “Pay today by card” to settle now through Stripe’s secure checkout and lock your number, or “Invoice me at press” to pay nothing until the first printing goes to press. Change your mind any time before then. Full refund before press, no questions.
Your copy will be in your hands within 90 days of purchase.
The first printing is being finished now, and numbered copies leave first.
You’ll hear the moment yours ships.
Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, France, the Netherlands, Sweden, Norway and Denmark. There is no separate shipping charge at checkout. Somewhere else? Write to book@defusely.com and we will find a way.
Yes, and most people do. “Keep one, give one” is two numbered copies. The share kit is five copies, each with a card in your name. Each gift copy is registered to the person you give it to.
Five trade copies of the book, shipped together, each with a card in your name so the people you give them to know who was thinking of them.
You can adjust the number of kits at checkout.
In the order copies are spoken for. The earliest replies hold the lowest numbers.
Not yet. The numbered printing comes first. Leave your email with “Just keep me posted” and you will hear when other editions exist.
This book pays its own bills, and not one dollar more.
Everything after that goes to dementia and Alzheimer’s research.
Receipts posted here, every year, where anyone can read them.
Every numbered copy carries a code on the back cover.
It registers your copy to your name and opens what lives behind the book:
the practices, the depth, the yearly receipts.
Yes. A full refund any time before the first printing goes to press, no questions. Write to book@defusely.com. The details are in the terms.